The story of Fyre Fest has been told and retold a thousand times, but no one has ever taken a second to imagine what if, instead of Ja Rule and an ambitious young scammer, Fyre Fest were hosted by fictional chocolatier Willy Wonka? That is basically what happened this weekend in Scotland, where a Wonka-themed event promised a world of whimsy at £35 a ticket and delivered the candy equivalent of untoasted Kraft-cheese sandwiches.
Scottish parents are beefing with a company that calls itself the House of Illuminati (maybe the first red flag?) after its immersive “Willy Wonka Experience” turned out to be not much more than an empty warehouse. Based on the event’s website, which is filled with old-fashioned illustrations and AI-generated images, they were expecting the following: an enchanted garden where children could pick an assortment of kooky beans to take home, an “Imagination Lab™” featuring optical-illusion projections, and a “Twilight Tunnel™” presumably designed to evoke that creepy boat ride Wonka takes the kiddos on in the movie.
Instead, they found a slapdash collection of cheap props and poorly hung backdrops transforming the barebones space into a scammy haunted house. One attendee described it as an “abandoned, empty warehouse.” Another reported that the entire walk-through took five minutes — it was supposed to be an hour — and was so bleak that some of the kids started crying. An actor who had been hired to perform as part of the experience says organizers told him to scrap the script he’d been given and improvise when he arrived to find none of the props or special effects he was told would be there. As for party favors? “We were told to hand the kids a couple of jelly beans and a quarter cup of lemonade at the end.”
More pics from the event https://t.co/ZCqw7yvqR4 pic.twitter.com/5LsLL8xnQ2
— Culture Crave 🍿 (@CultureCrave) February 27, 2024
they charged $45 for this pic.twitter.com/0Nlk0IMJkj
— Chris Alsikkan (@AlsikkanTV) February 26, 2024
More pics from the event https://t.co/ZCqw7yvqR4 pic.twitter.com/5LsLL8xnQ2
— Culture Crave 🍿 (@CultureCrave) February 27, 2024
Immediately realizing just how short they had fallen, organizers canceled the event halfway through its opening day and reportedly put up a cardboard sign announcing it had been called off. Most of the families who had bought ticketsnever even made it inside. Gathering in a confused crowd outside the door, some parents got so mad they called the police, who apparently offered “advice.”
A spokesperson for the House of Illuminati reportedly posted a statement from the organization on Facebook offering full refunds and profusely apologizing for the mess. “At the last minute we were let down in many areas of our event and tried our best to continue and push through,” the post read, “and now realise we probably should have cancelled first thing this morning.” The company’s director, Billy Coull, reportedly blamed the mess on “holographic paper” that hadn’t arrived on time, leaving them unable to execute the “absolutely fabulous technology” they had in store.
Meanwhile, the enraged attendees created a Facebook group to voice their disgust. “I paid for Willy Wonka and got Billy Bonkers,” one woman lamented. Truly the stuff of nightmares.
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Danielle Cohen , 2024-02-27 22:03:44
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