Where to Drink and Dance in New York

If You Need Beats More Than Sleep

Basement (52-19 Flushing Ave., Queens) is the closest thing New York has to Berghain, and if you want to get inside, you’d better know the name of the DJ who’s playing. Wearing something vaguely fetish-y helps too. Upstairs is Knockdown Center, which also hosts shroomy day parties, such as Tiki Disco, in the summer. A nice place to pregame for a night out there is Mansions (46-63 Metropolitan Ave., Queens), which is technically a wine bar but gets very dance-y in the early hours of the morning and is beloved by the “heads.” Nowadays (56-06 Cooper Ave., Queens) is a world-class nightclub; it often throws 24-hour parties leading into its Sunday day party, Mister Sunday, and has a massive backyard ideal for waiting out a bad trip. Other popular dance-music clubs include Public Records (233 Butler St., Brooklyn) in Gowanus; the homier Bossa Nova Civic Club (1271 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn), known as Bushwick’s “Techno Cheers”; Bossa’s sister club, Paragon (990 Broadway, Brooklyn); and Good Room (98 Meserole St., Brooklyn) in Greenpoint. The latter also schedules the DJs at Glen Falls House in the Catskills; it’s kind of like going to rave summer camp (there’s also Dripping in June in New Jersey). After getting burned down a couple of years ago, the cult-favorite club Rash (941 Willoughby Ave., Brooklyn) is back. For a much normier EDM experience, go to the Brooklyn Mirage (140 Stewart Ave., Brooklyn). Another warehouse venue, called Brooklyn Storehouse (1260 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn), is opening in the Navy Yard. Most of the techno and house scene is in Brooklyn and Queens, but for a satisfactory spot in Manhattan, try Outer Heaven (191 Chrystie St.).

If You Heard About the LES on TikTok

If You Want to Grind With the Gays

You could spend all night in Williamsburg on a tipsy gay bar crawl. Start at a new spot called Animal (307 Meeker Ave., Brooklyn) before stumbling down to the Exley (1 Jackson St., Brooklyn), which is much tamer on the weekdays and appropriate for a Grindr date. Then take a shot and head around the corner to the longstanding Metropolitan Bar (559 Lorimer St., Brooklyn). If you’re into drag, or under 25, end the night at the Rosemont (63 Montrose Ave., Brooklyn). If you’re into Kim Petras, follow the DJ Ty Sunderland and go wherever he goes, especially his Sunday tea party in the back lot at 3 Dollar Bill (260 Meserole St., Brooklyn). Some other good follows are Ladyfag, who throws an annual Pride festival, and Papi Juice, a party for queer and trans people of color often held at the concert venue and nightclub Elsewhere (599 Johnson Ave., Brooklyn). The clean-cut baby gays are at Playhouse (100A 7th Ave. S) in the West Village; you can pregame with lychee ’tinis at Art Bar (52 8th Ave.). In my personal opinion, the best queer bar in all of New York is Singers (30 Kosciuszko St., Brooklyn); you may have heard about its annual Twinks vs. Dolls competition. A close runner-up is the tiki bar Happyfun Hideaway (1211 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn). Of course, there is always the historic gay-elder dive bar Julius’ (159 W. 10th), where you should definitely order a burger. If you’re feeling a little more … frisky, there’s always the Cock (93 2nd Ave.) or the Eagle (554 W. 28th St.). In Midtown: It’s Him (692 10th Ave.). There aren’t many queer-women-oriented bars left in the U.S., but New York is home to several of them. Henrietta Hudson (438 Hudson St.) claims to be the oldest. Within walking distance is the much stickier Cubbyhole (281 W. 12th St.), and out in Park Slope is Ginger’s (363 5th Ave., Brooklyn), which hosts a trivia night on the first Tuesday of the month. The Woods (48 S. 4th St., Brooklyn) hosts the young AFABs on Wednesdays. There’s also Marys Bar (134 Kingsland Ave., Brooklyn), a queer Irish pub, in East Williamsburg, and the Bush (333 Troutman St.) — get it? — in Bushwick. Party girl Linux hosts Paul’s Dolls every Wednesday at Paul’s Casablanca (305 Spring St.), which on any other night of the week is mostly for the straight and model-y.

If You Want to Sip a Martini and Ignore a Nearby Celebrity

Someone famous is always staying at the Bowery Hotel (335 Bowery), and even if you’re not a guest you can go have a cocktail at the bar in the back of the lobby. The definitive clubstaurant of the moment is Jean’s (415 Lafayette St.); the hostess is a Gossip Girl reboot star, and there’s a nightclub downstairs. If you can’t get into any of the city’s private clubs, the Nines (9 Great Jones St.), a piano bar with a caviar-topped baked potato on the menu, might as well be one. Tigre (105 Rivington St.) serves a “cigarette martini.” On that note: Here’s a ranking of the city’s reigning “alt-tinis”; I’m partial to the tomato-y caprese ’tini at Jac’s on Bond (26 Bond St.). If I were looking for somewhere discreet and sexy to meet someone after midnight, I’d try to get past Disco at Temple Bar (332 Lafayette St.). If you’re uptown, just go to Bemelmans (35 E. 76th St.). Down near Rockefeller Center, there’s Pebble Bar (67 W. 49th St.), which sometimes plays host to SNL after-parties. I prefer the old-school Knickerbocker (33 University Pl.); the martinis come with a sidecar, and I enjoy listening to the bartender regale the graying regulars with stories of her youth. Fanelli Café (94 Prince St.) is one of the city’s oldest bars, but it’s especially popular with young fashion types; they also happen to have some of the best bar food in town (get the chicken tenders). If you really want to tempt fate, the influencer-y American Bar (33 Greenwich Ave.) has a “breakfast martini” on its brunch menu. If you think you’re Carrie Bradshaw, you can do something she’d never do and head over to Brooklyn for a cosmo from the man who invented the cocktail at the Long Island Bar (110 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn). If you think you’re Patti Smith, get a drink in the lobby of the Hotel Chelsea (226 W. 23rd St.). You might spot the Swiss nightlife doyenne Susanne Bartsch leaving her apartment on her way out to the club.

If You Just Want to Drink the Day Away in a Perfectly Reliable Bar

The Coyote Club (417 Throop Ave., Brooklyn) in Bed-Stuy is a near-perfect Brooklyn bar; it’s cash only, and the DJs play vinyl, meaning sometimes people get out of their booths to dance. In Bushwick, go to the new mega-bar Carousel (36 Wyckoff Ave., Brooklyn), which has a courtyard in the middle of the room where you can go to smoke. (It is our Underground Gourmet columnist’s go-to.) Rhodora (197 Adelphi St., Brooklyn) is a bitchy wine bar near Fort Greene Park. Here’s our food critic’s non-exhaustive wine-bar guide. Even Bushwick has one now, called Cherry on Top (379 Suydam St., Brooklyn), and it has a rooftop! (Speaking of Fort Greene: there’s a day party in the park called Soul Summit on Sundays in the summer). Dynaco (1112 Bedford Ave., Brooklyn) is for first dates; I once heard the bartenders call the back room, where there’s a wood fireplace, the “Tinder Box.” Prepare to fight for a pool table at the double-decker Twins Lounge (723 Manhattan Ave., Brooklyn); it’s also an excellent place to host a birthday party. If you watched Nathan Fielder’s The Rehearsal, you might be interested in the buy-a-drink-get-a-free-pizza deal at Alligator Lounge (600 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn). Sophie’s (507 E. 5th St.) is a quintessential East Village dive. Sundown Bar (68-38 Forest Ave., Queens) is the spot to be in a suddenly trendy strip of Ridgewood; it also hosts shows in the basement. A few doors down is a new “nighttime café” called Hellbender from the folks behind Rolo’s; on the weekends, you can order quesadillas until 1 a.m. On the subject of late-night bites: If you end up at the Zodiac-themed club Mood Ring (1260 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn), everybody usually eventually finds themselves at El Regalo de Juquila (1209 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn) to eat tacos and search for a last-minute hook-up; it stays open until 4 a.m. When your parents come to town, take them somewhere historic where you can impress them with some fun facts you found on Wikipedia. Like: the Ear Inn (326 Spring St.) — it’s been open, supposedly, for 200 years! — or McSorley’s Old Ale House (15 E. 7th St.) — those are, supposedly, Harry Houdini’s handcuffs behind the bar! There’s also Sunny’s Bar (253 Conover St., Brooklyn) out in Red Hook. While in the neighborhood, why not get drunk on the roof at the crab shack, Brooklyn Crab (24 Reed St., Brooklyn)? You’ll feel like you’re in Tampa in the best possible way.

If You’re Looking for a Straight Boy With a Job (or, at the Very Least, Bottle Service)

When I want to get cringe and dance under a disco ball to “Dancing Queen,” I go to ACME (9 Great Jones St.); if you miss the club’s friendly but imperious door guy Frankie, you can find him in the Financial District at Laissez Faire (10 Theater Alley) under the Beekman Hotel. If you wind up in Alphabet City and want to dance, go to Joyface (104 Ave. C) or Dingaling (116 Ave. C). I once saw Drake getting a table at the underground nightclub Loosie’s (145 Bowery); I appreciate that the restroom attendants sometimes sell vapes. Upstairs, there’s a piano bar called Silver Lining Lounge. The straightest, most corporate people I know go get their flirt on at the Spaniard (190 W. 4th St.) The junior consultants are, of course, at Phebe’s Tavern (359 Bowery). The Box (189 Chrystie St.) is still the club everyone wants to get into, where you can watch a troupe of freaky performers commit a variety of not quite horny, mostly shocking acts on stage (like sewing up their vaginas) while spending thousands of dollars on a table. Taylor Swift threw her birthday party there last year. It now has a sister club in Columbus Circle called the Stranger (311 W. 57th St.). Le Bain (444 W. 13th St.) will always be my favorite club in Manhattan because if you get too wasted and lose your inhibitions, you can take a swim in the hot tub, which is on the dance floor. The Public Hotel also has a scenic rooftop club, called … the Roof (215 Chrystie St.). The new spot everyone is chattering about is Silencio (303 W. 57th St.), which just arrived in Midtown from Paris and where “It” boy Jonah Almost mans the door. If you can get into Socialista (376 W. Broadway), you can usually smoke inside. In Tribeca, there’s the equivalently tricky-to-get-into Paul’s Baby Grand (2 6th Ave.), which is owned by Chloe Sevigny’s brother, Paul. I hope you brought lots of girls with you.

If You Ended Up in Williamsburg

Believe it or not, there are actually some really great nightclubs in the neighborhood. The first is Nightmoves (295 Grand St., Brooklyn), which is owned by LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy. When the club closes down at 2 a.m., you can take your crew around the corner to La Milagrosa (149 Havemeyer St., Brooklyn), a mezcal bar and micro-club that stays open very late. The door girl there, Liz, is my favorite in the city. The DJ Eli Escobar opened his own nightclub, Gabriela (90 Wythe Ave., Brooklyn), last year. Personally, I find Radegast Hall (113 N. 3rd St., Brooklyn) to be a terrifying place; bros who order pitchers seem to love it. Even if they’re playing shitty classic rock, I’ll never say “no” to a boozy coffee milkshake at Rocka Rolla (486 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn). Hear me out: New York’s hottest club is the McCarren Parkhouse (855 Lorimer St., Brooklyn). Desert 5 Spot (94 Wythe Ave., Brooklyn), a Los Angeles–based country-music venue, is opening this June. All the cool-kid indie music acts play shows at Baby’s All Right (146 Broadway, Brooklyn). A short walk away, in Greenpoint, you can sit outside on the street in front of a church and listen to music at the the Lot Radio (17 Nassau Ave., Brooklyn). The supposed Murray Hillification of Greenpoint is happening at Pencil Factory (142 Franklin St., Brooklyn). A better bar is Troost (1011 Manhattan Ave., Brooklyn); I could eat the homemade Chex mix for dinner.

If You Want to Do Something Besides Dance While You Get Drunk

When you get sick of moshing, go line dancing at Gottscheer Hall  (657 Fairview Ave., Queens), an old-school German beer hall in Ridgewood, or at Stud Country, a monthly party at Brooklyn Bowl (61 Wythe Ave., Brooklyn) which calls itself the “queer church of line dance.” If roller skating is more your thing, head to Bushwick’s new Xanadu Roller Arts (262 Starr St., Brooklyn), the city’s first year-round indoor rink, from the owners of the the Sultan Room (234 Starr St., Brooklyn). Around the corner is the Red Pavilion (1241 Flushing Ave., Brooklyn), an “Asian neo-noir cabaret.” Sometimes you just want to sit on a rooftop: I like Bar Blondeau (80 Wythe Ave.), which has nice views of the Manhattan skyline, and Darling (96 Central Park S.), which feels like a Southern grandma’s front porch and where you can look out over Central Park. Pumps (1089 Grand St., Brooklyn) is a dusty, tiny, very Bushwick strip club. Bring lots of ones. The cool place to go to karaoke is Winnie’s (58 E. Broadway); I’m usually satisfied by the dumpy but cheap Planet Rose (219 Ave. A). Of course, you can always go bowling at the Gutter, in Williamsburg, the Lower East Side, or Long Island City. I never fail to have a good time people-watching and smoking inside (for a fee) at the cheesy cigar bar Hudson Bar and Books (636 Hudson St.) in the West Village. It might not be the best idea, but you can drink beer at the NY Axe Throwing Range (98 N. 11th St., Brooklyn). Why not board a ferry to Governors Island and get trashed on overpriced tiki drinks at the Tulum-ish Gitano Island (125 Carder Rd.)? And never forget: New York ferries serve alcohol.