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Below Deck Mediterranean Recap: Falling Short


Kyle, a.k.a the George Santos of Below Deck Mediterranean, and his never-ending issues continue to loom over “Sink or Swim” like the plague. Still, our main character this week is Lily, who, while a very nice person, is so inexperienced that it’s adding to the interior’s already chaotic environment. Now two charters into the gig, Lily still can’t make the beds or clean a bathroom properly if her life depended on it. Tumi has almost entirely given up on actively trying to train her and now views Lily as a liability who does more harm than good, which in turn is making Lily feel like shit as she struggles with the reality of how difficult the job is.

But first, we pick up with the mid-dinner service situation that kicked off in the final minutes of the last episode, with Captain Sandy explaining to Luka that it’s unacceptable for radio calls to be left unanswered. Luka tells us that while he understands her frustrations, he feels that all the stews available should have been asked to run plates before the deckhands were brought in to help. He’s right! We’ve seen deckies help the interior in the past during busy times, but Tumi could’ve easily asked Jess or Lily, who spend over an hour and a half doing turndowns, to step away for a few moments.

At the dinner table, Amish, who’s wearing sunglasses and calls Tumi “Three-mi,” says he’s going to “get fucked up tonight.” And he does just that. After everyone heads to bed, he stays up and wanders around the boat looking and yelling for alcohol and the hot tub. He drunkenly makes his way through the galley and ends up in the crew area, where he opens Jess and Lily’s cabin door and walks in on Jack while he’s getting dressed. Luka kicks him out, and Amish just laughs the entire time as if it’s just some normal thing to do. Not only is it weird, but it’s also incredibly unsafe (thankfully nothing serious ended up happening) and a huge violation of the crew’s boundaries. Toss this dentist overboard immediately!

Kyle and Lara are in their own worlds and don’t know what Amish is up to until he drops and breaks his glass on deck while hobbling down the stairs after finding the hot tub. Once he finally sees a text in the interior’s group chat about the guest going into the crew’s space, Kyle immediately notifies Sandy, who tells the primary the next morning that Amish will be removed from the boat if he doesn’t get under control. What’s most alarming is how unapologetic and unaware of his inappropriate behavior Amish was even after Michael told him about Sandy’s warning.

Elsewhere, Lily tells Kyle that she feels bad for the awkwardness between them ever since their tiff during the night out, which wasn’t even Lily’s fault. Kyle forgives her and says in a confessional, “Leave it to the girl who didn’t know where the on button was for the dryer to apologize to me.” Well, those two things have nothing to do with each other. Kyle’s problems don’t end here, though, since he and Jack still have unfinished business that’s taking a toll on Kyle’s well-being. Does it ever end with him? If drama tires you out, maybe don’t create issues out of nothing and drag it out. It’s that easy!

Later, Kyle goes to his bathroom to talk to his boyfriend, Zachary, explaining through tears that he’s having a difficult time with all the “negativity on board.” Yes, the negativity that he mostly started. Kyle pretty much spends this episode expressing how bad he’s doing mentally because of the weight that’s on his shoulders due to the Jack problem. If you’re struggling THIS much, then just leave. He adds that he doesn’t know how to change people’s perceptions of him when they already have a negative view of him. My suggestion: Stop being a bully.

Since Captain Sandy had to pick up the anchor and return to the dock due to bad weather, the entire day is fairly uneventful for the guests up until the arrival of opera performers in the evening. The singer and accompanying violinist deliver a beautiful performance for the guests, during which time Kyle cries on deck while looking out at the view as if he’s in some dramatic movie. Then it’s time for dinner, which ends with Jack presenting the two birthday boys, Michael and Cliff, with their own cakes while the crew sings him happy birthday. It’s a lovely final night, and even Amish manages to behave.

As I mentioned earlier, Lily isn’t making progress quickly enough, to the point where Tumi feels that she’s dragging the interior down. It doesn’t help that all Jessika does is whine about her as if she wasn’t just the most inexperienced stew at the start of the season. This reaches a peak during dinner when Lily decides to use an iPad to help her organize and keep track of what items are needed for turndowns. Jess, who Lily literally explained her technique to, is annoyed and runs to Tumi about how she can’t “trust” Lily in the cabins. She also accuses her of using the tablet for non-work things, stating in a confessional that she could be “making TikToks for all I know.” For someone who claims to be drama-free, Jess sure does love to stir shit. Tumi rushes downstairs to tell Lily that she can’t use the iPad anymore and that she’d prefer her to write things down on paper since devices are distracting. The fact that something so petty and stupid is being blown up this much is absurd.

The guests depart the next morning, leaving the crew with a $23,000 tip. Then we’re off to dinner, where Kyle apologizes for what he might say once he gets drunk, to which Jack responds by telling him to “calm down.” Although there are signs that it could escalate into a huge fight, they ultimately reach a breakthrough with a non-heated discussion in which they both admit that they approached each other in the wrong ways and then agree to move on. Jack is better than me because I wouldn’t have let this go so easily if I were in his place, although I wouldn’t be surprised if he only did this to get through the rest of the season with no arguing.

When they return to the boat, Jess and Luka — who, by the way, is still texting Natalya that he misses her — bang while Haleigh spends the majority of the night and early morning violently throwing up. Once everyone starts waking up, she tells Sandy she isn’t feeling well and is sent to the hospital to get checked out. It’s sort of alarming that Haleigh is now the third person to get sick on this boat in a matter of weeks, so hopefully she’s okay.

Meanwhile, Tumi has reached a breaking point and decides to go to Sandy about Lily. She tells Sandy that Lily is “dead weight” who still can’t grasp the job and is slowing down the rest of the team. Sandy finds this to be unacceptable, so she pulls Lily for a chat and tells her she’s going to get “one more chance” to show some initiative and prove that she’s capable of doing her job without help. While it’s completely understandable that Lily’s inability to correctly do her job is frustrating and sets the interior back, I can’t help but feel for her for getting thrown in the deep end with such a dysfunctional interior. And after this, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Lily’s off the boat in the coming weeks.



Jihane Bousfiha , 2023-12-12 03:00:29

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